why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
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you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
i think im in europe. pls send help
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