I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
