It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
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Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
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I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
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