Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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