check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
