It's Friday. Sex?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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