FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May the power of my ass compel you!!
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize