I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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