yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
My balls are so social today.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
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I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
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Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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