she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize
