Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
