the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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