Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
