No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
