I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
