I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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