i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
