It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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