My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
