Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
D3 body, D1 cock
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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