I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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