So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
