Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
