my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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