you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
