Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
