So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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