kristin has been a bad kristin
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
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woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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