FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
