doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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