All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
babies were throwing up all over the place
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
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