Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
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2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
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It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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