We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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