in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
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I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
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Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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