we're blogging at a bar
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
