a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
last night I used snow as a chaser
This toilet bowl is my home.
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