im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
