Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
