i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
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Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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