Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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