All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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