You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
