Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
my poor anus
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
