i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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