Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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