I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
