So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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