I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
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wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
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How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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