And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
