Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
