remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
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