i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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