i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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