I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
