there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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