When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Do vagina's smell?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
