i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
