I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
