I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm at about main and main street
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
