we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
