I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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