I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
